Visions of sugarplums

I told you in my last post that we were going to the Gingerbread House decorating competition last night at church. Last year, I couldn't get my kids to participate with me (plus I forgot to pre-pay for a house and I think they ran out, so I guess it was good they didn't want to do it). But, this year, I remembered to plan ahead and I didn't give the kids an option. I just told them that was what we were going to do.

We had a great time decorating our house. I was determined not to get all control-freaky about the whole thing. I just wanted it to be fun for the kids. I did control the frosting and contribute a few ideas, but mostly I let them have a lot of creative license. (We did have to stop Pressley a couple of times from putting heavy candy on the roof, but that was more about structural concerns than aesthetic value.) It turned out a LOT better than I expected. I thought it would be kind of a disaster, but it turned out pretty cute. And, GranNan and Poppy hung out to help us and take photos, respectively. So, it was all good.

Well, it was all good until we had to sit around for a long time waiting for the judging to happen. The judging took a while because there were about 40 houses and lots of people BRING IT to the gingerbread competition. They bring outside supplies (like pre-prepared trees that I can only imagine were upside down ice cream cones covered in green frosting), and one lady even brought a airbrusher-paint-gun-thingee. So, it is serious business in some of the categories.

The kids got a little antsy during the long wait, but even that wasn't so bad. But, then. Then. They handed out the prizes to the winners. (There were several different categories and 1st, 2nd, 3rd place and such, so there were 12 prizes in all for 40 teams.) I always knew we would not win a prize, and like I said yesterday, we were just in it to make some memories. But I guess I did not convey this knowledge to the youngest member of my family who burst into tears when she realized the presents had all been handed out and she did not get one.

I really don't think the sudden outburst of emotion was about the losing. I think she had no idea there was competition involved. The words she blurted through her tears had nothing to do with winning or losing. The words were, "I wanted a presennnnnnt. I really, really wanted a presennnnnt!" And it was late. So she was tired. And she was all hopped up on sugar. Poor baby.

And what did the poor baby's mommy do? Well, in my defense, it took me totally by surprise. So, I gathered her up into my arms and hugged her tightly while I silently stifled my laughter in her hair. Seriously. I did not know how else to react. I was caught completely off guard. It really never occurred to me that she would get upset.

I did finally gather my thoughts and control my laughter and explain to her that our prize was our beautiful and special house that we would get to take home and show to daddy and enjoy throughout the season. She wasn't really buying it, but she calmed down eventually. Today, I think all that remain are the happy memories.

The post-script to this entry is that Pressley's reaction (and those of several other 3 and 4 year olds who had the same reaction) has sparked quite the cyber-debate on Facebook today about whether it is appropriate to give everyone a prize for participating to keep the pre-school set from melting down at the end. I totally get the argument that in life, you don't always win and we need to teach our kids to deal gracefully with defeat. I also get that a 3 year old doesn't yet have the capacity to really understand winning and losing and there is some merit to giving out prizes for participation to compensate for that.

I think the best solution is probably to let families with pre-schoolers opt out of the competition part altogether so we can just gather our finished houses and leave before any presents show up and get handed out. If Pressley had never seen the presents, she would have been fine with the house being our "only" prize.